Grief Counseling
Are You Grieving Over A Loss That Seems Impossible To Reconcile?
Whether it’s the death of a loved one, losing a pet, the end of a relationship, or a long-term career, is a recent loss causing emotional turmoil? Has profound grief disrupted your ability to function normally? Are you feeling lonely and isolated because you’re not receiving the support you hoped for from close friends and family?
Perhaps it’s difficult for you to quell your persistent longing for your loved one. Your mind may be flooded with sadness, confusion, and disbelief. Small things like noticing the empty seat at the dinner table or expecting them to walk into the room at any moment may serve as jarring reminders of how your life has forever changed.
Their absence might trigger a host of painful and often contradicting feelings and reactions—anxiety, panic, numbness, bitterness, guilt, regret, anger—even relief. As much as you’re reminded daily that they’re gone, maybe a part of you hasn’t accepted that reality.
You Might Be Having An Identity Crisis Due To Your Loss
In addition to intense sorrow, the loss you’ve experienced may also cause physical symptoms like low energy, sleep disruptions, and changes in appetite. If you’re depressed, you might feel like life no longer has meaning or find you no longer enjoy the activities you once loved. You may have withdrawn from others because it seems like no one else understands what you’re going through.
You might feel like you’ve lost a part of your identity without your loved one to define you as a spouse, parent, sibling, or child. If only you could stop feeling so hopeless, angry, and regretful, you could pick up the pieces and move on with your life.
Fortunately, grief counseling gives you the tools to process loss. With therapy, you can contextualize your grief and learn effective strategies for managing it.
Have any questions? Send me a message!
Grief Can Be Triggered By Any Kind Of Loss
We often associate bereavement exclusively with the death of a loved one. However, any type of loss can cause grief. A survey conducted by WebMD found that 57 percent of Americans reported experiencing a major loss over the previous three years, whether through the loss of a loved one, pet, or significant relationship. [1]
We often hear about the stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—but may not realize that these stages are neither linear nor predictable. Usually, we jump back and forth between them in no particular order, triggering confusion, distress, and an overwhelming sense that life will never return to normal. Our emotional pain can be compounded by a lack of social support or a history of traumatic childhood experiences like abuse or neglect.
Our Culture Often Doesn’t Recognize What It Means To Grieve
Unlike other cultures, as Americans, we don’t acknowledge and honor the grieving process. An article that appeared in USA Today highlights, “Culturally, America is a terrible place to grieve. American culture and infrastructure devalue and fail to provide the resources, space, time, and normalization needed to grieve.” [2] When grieving, we often feel like once we’ve reached a certain “expiration date,” those around us don’t want to hear about it anymore and expect us to move on.
Although you may feel pressured to “get over it” sooner than you feel ready to, you shouldn't try to avoid or hide your feelings. Grief counseling offers a space to talk about what you’re experiencing in a safe, nonjudgmental, and compassionate environment.
Counseling Can Help You Work Through Your Grief Productively
Although grief is a universal human experience, it can be challenging to overcome. Sometimes, extenuating factors cause grief to become prolonged, more intense, or underscored by complicated feelings that are hard to reconcile. Counseling offers a safe space to normalize how you’re feeling and receive validation that when it comes to grief, it’s never a one-size-fits-all journey.
As a grief therapist, I offer an open ear and a shoulder to cry on. I will bear witness to your pain and hold space for your experience. In grief counseling, you have permission to express your feelings—whether it be anger, sadness, guilt, regret, relief, or laughter—without any fear of judgment. With genuine support in a safe space, you can naturally process your grief in your own unique way.
What To Expect In Sessions
The focus of grief counseling may include:
Connecting how your emotions affect how you think and feel;
Tracking your grief stages to develop greater self-awareness of the process and understand how these stages play out in your life;
Learning helpful coping skills to lessen the effects of grief;
Helping you redefine your identity in the aftermath of loss;
Discussing the possibility of a new relationship when you feel ready;
Referrals to grief support groups so you won’t feel like you’re not alone.
Whatever you experience as loss is personal to you. In sessions, we acknowledge that even subtle losses can trigger a sense of grief. We will dispel any shame you may carry or notions that it’s okay to grieve over some things but not others.
The Modalities We May Use In Grief Counseling
In grief therapy, I often use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help you identify negative thought patterns that can affect your behaviors and emotions. Perhaps your grief makes you feel like a burden to others or convinces you that you’ll always be alone. Recognizing distorted beliefs and learning how to reframe them can help lighten the emotional weight you carry.
I also use Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to help decrease the physical and emotional intensity of grief. Utilizing the EMDR protocol for grief can alleviate deeper feelings of guilt, sadness, or anger. What’s more, EMDR can lessen negative core beliefs such as feeling responsible for what happened or thinking more could have been done to prevent the loss.
When you shift how you think about the grieving process, you can begin to see it as a form of learning—one that teaches you how to be in the world without the one you love. Finding meaning in your loss can help you accept what’s happened and find a new path forward.
But Maybe You’re Not Sure If Grief Counseling Is Right For You…
-
Because we each experience and express grief differently, you might feel like you’re “not doing it right.” However, the length and intensity at which you grieve are influenced by what’s happening in your life. For many, healing after a loss is often an emotional rollercoaster where gradual improvements are punctuated by occasional setbacks. While grief and loss counseling isn’t a silver bullet that will magically speed up the grieving process, working with a therapist will help normalize your experience and smooth out the rougher patches.
-
Regaining your balance after a major loss requires you to slowly integrate a new reality into your life rather than “get over” a hurdle. Working with a grief counselor, you will receive compassionate support while building skills to help you through this bereavement period. Prioritizing self-care and adopting contemplative practices in therapy may be helpful, as well as finding a bereavement support group that understands your grief.
-
After suffering a loss, it’s common to find distractions—like work—to push away or bury your emotions. However, not allowing yourself to process what you’re feeling can prolong the grieving process and eventually lead to severe anxiety or depression. Although it’s painful to acknowledge the permanence of losing a loved one, it’s the first step you must take to adjust to how life will be moving forward. Utilizing CBT or EMDR therapy for grief can help you process painful thoughts, feelings, and memories associated with your loss while reducing feelings of guilt, shame, or anger.
Grief Doesn’t Have To Be A Path Walked Alone
Bereavement support can help you process your loss. If you would like to find out more about grief counseling with me, please call 720-935-1702 or visit my contact page to set up a free,15-minute consultation today.
[1] https://www.webmd.com/special-reports/grief-stages/20190711/the-grief-experience-survey-shows-its-complicated
[2] https://www.usatoday.com/story/special/contributor-content/2023/11/28/why-its-so-tough-to-grieve-in-america/71728319007/#:
